It’s been a minute since I’ve written, but leadership doesn’t always deliver big dramatic plot twists worth blogging about — sometimes it’s just staffing templates, inboxes full of “urgent” emails, and reminding people (again) that yes, the sharps container is full and yes, it needs to be changed.
But yesterday, I was reminded of something worth talking about — in the most unexpected way — at our leadership holiday party.
We did a full 80’s-style murder mystery theme (shoulder pads included). There were only about fifteen of us — just leaders — no staff, no families, no “pretend I’m not answering messages during dinner” vibes. Just peers. People who understand the unofficial job descriptions like therapist, mediator, crystal ball owner, and professional absorber of other people’s stress.
And let me tell you…
The vibe is different when you’re surrounded by people who carry the same weight you do.
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When Leaders Play Roles That Aren’t “Leader”
There is something oddly freeing about watching the quietest manager in the building dramatically accuse someone of sabotage with a fake British accent. Or seeing the most serious, by-the-book leader wearing neon fishnet gloves and quoting 80s movies that weren’t even in the script.
It was surprising — and weirdly refreshing — to see each other as people, separate from titles, performance metrics, and policies.
For a few hours, nobody was:
The one who approves overtime
The one who has to have the hard conversations
The one who signs off on corrective action
The one who gets cc’d on every problem
We weren’t solving real issues — just fake crimes.
And yet, there was something meaningful about the teamwork that naturally happened. Leaders are used to being the point of escalation, the answer-giver, the decision-maker. But last night, we were just participants, and being a participant instead of the person “in charge of the outcome” is way more unfamiliar than it should be.
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The Peer Bubble — Where No One Needs the Leadership Disclaimer
When you’re leading a team, there’s always a subtle line — a boundary you protect to maintain trust, consistency, and professionalism.
But with peers?
You can laugh without someone interpreting it as approval.
You can vent without someone thinking the building is on fire.
You can share the burden without assigning the responsibility.
There’s a comfort in being around people who understand the invisible parts of the job — the moments you absorb frustration meant for someone else, the decisions you lose sleep over, or the emotional math you do balancing staff morale, patient outcomes, and operational sanity.
Most people only see what leaders do.
Peers understand what leadership costs.
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A Reminder I Didn’t Know I Needed
The holiday party wasn’t just fun — it was grounding.
It reminded me of something simple:
Leaders need community too.
We need places where we don’t have to coach, direct, correct, or hold the emotional temperature of the room. Places where we get to be human first and leaders second — even if it’s only for an evening filled with big hair, Aqua Net, and a fake homicide.
So if you’re a leader who feels a bit isolated — plan something with your peers.
Not a meeting.
Not a strategy session.
Not a workshop cleverly disguised as a “retreat.”
Just connection.
Just laughter.
Just off-duty humanity.
Even if it means someone gets (fictionally) murdered in the breakroom.